Saturday, May 19, 2012

Marco & Sabrina; Distance's Deeds and When Good Feelings Do Bad


The air and breeze were so fresh that morning. The morning when Marco had to undergo a new phase and stage of his life. Life seemed so great when at last he could manage resign from his hectic and time-consuming job. A decision that finally spilled out after some times of doubtful months. New year, new step, new hope and new struggle; those words were appropriate to figure what was in Marco’s mind.

Coming up with the decision, this meant that he would also be apart with Sabrina, who had been with him for nearly two years (officially). Marco realized that this distance might somehow be a problem for them both. Distance; builds the feeling of missing and strengthens relationship but could also be a factor that would bring into misunderstanding and lead to a serious situation for them both. Marco was quite aware about that. Concerning this, he told Sabrina about this possibility, and she seemed to be understand as she nodded her head.
The first month was quite “fun” for Marco. He felt free! Despite his previous activity which was hectic and unpredictable. He enjoyed hang out and also went to some work test and interview for his new career step. Day by day and week by week goes, but some test and interview had not shown any result. “Yes, this is my risk. I risk my own life, and I knew about the possibility of this sort of risk from the very beginning.”, this was what in Marco’s mind. Though, undeniable that there was somehow pressure in Marco’s mind and he felt that he needed to be more persistent and struggle more for that.
Sabrina was still in her previous job. Therefore, the frequency of meeting for them both started to decrease a lot. They used to be having dinner together every evening, hang out and spending some time together, but that situation was not much they got due to the distance they have. 2 hours by bus was somehow reason consuming for Marco, as he was no longer work in the city in where Sabrina worked.
As days go by, their communication pattern started to be different. Marco; he seemed to be too cold. Whereas Sabrina, may be because she was tired of his daily work, she could not talk a lot like how she did. They seemed to express their good feelings (missing each other) in a wrong way. Marco uttered certain offensive words/cold as he expected Sabrina to stimulate some discussions about any topic or may be even understand that Marco was missing her and he expected her to come and visited her. Moreover, Marco with his too manly characteristic and egocentrism, he was reluctant to directly say how and what he felt. It was a mistake, but he was too man to say so. On the other hand, Sabrina who is sometimes too sensitive, she did not understand what was intended by Marco. She kept trying to talk during her busy days at work and did not notice the signal that Marco sent. She just did not care how offensive Marco’s words at that time. Though, she’s just a normal female. With feelings and heart. There was a time when she lost her temper and misconstrued Marco’s intention. It was not her fault, indeed but  Marco’s as well. She came up with the idea that they broke up for certain period of time. This idea was a volcano for Marco for this was never in his mind no matter how cruel, offensive and mean he was. Marco was very angry and could not accept this as this seemed to have embarrassed his pride as a man. He was thinking a lot, he tried to hinder the proposal by anything he could, but not direct words as he did not want to lower his pride. What a man!
Finally, this situation was overcome. They could make up. But Marco knew that there were still things in his and Sabrina’s heart that needed to be spilt out. There was finally day that Marco went to Sabrina’s place. They talked much, share feelings and what made the situation was that way. Actually Marco was feeling that Sabrina had certain changes. He felt that Sabrina had changed some of her strength; her caring and support which was exceptional decreased just to adapt with Marco’s original character that was cold. In the other words, Marco felt that Sabrina did so just to avenge how Marco behave, this was what in Marco’s mid. On the other side, Sabrina felt that this was a turning point from Marco’s previous habit and behavior that was always ready to support Sabrina with every of her decision, including decision with their relationship. Marco’s offense was no more tolerable as it had scratched too much Sabrina’s heart. Hearing this, Marco was clueless. He’s got nothing to say for he never intended so, but he realized how sharp his words had minced her heart. He realized how his position was. This was a milestone and tough trial for them both. May be the situation would be so different from that time on due to the ego, heartache, inappropriate sensitivity, stubbornness and too manly behavior from both of them. Things needed fixation, good feelings could kill when they were expressed in the wrong way; that was what Marco thought. In addition, whatever that is, spill and reveal. Ask what you want from others (esp. your partner) for hatred and anger accumulation could be a time-bomb. Therefore, to maintain good communication and relationship he’s gotta explain, ACCEPT and DO the good advises. “Yes” means : “Yes, that’s a good advise. I would do and show you up that I could be that way.” Rather than:”Yes, let’s discuss another thing for I’m tired being told.”

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